Eldon turns the big 1

So my baby is one year old! Crazy how time flies, seriously didn't I have him just a few weeks ago? We had a great birthday! It was highlighted by an impromptu visit from his Grandma and Grandpa Hogman. We spent the birthday day getting him his first ice cream cone,

riding a horse,

taking a lot of steps,

opening gifts,

and eating cake, which is in the shape of an ant that tragically got sprayed by bug spray and started growing a variety for different tumors.

The next day we went to the Oqurrih Temple (Kyler threw up on our way there, hence the lack of Sunday attire),

then Wheeler farm for a picnic and getting hugged by a cow.

and more gifts from Grandma and Grandpa Porter

It was a great two days! And we loved having Mom and Dad Hogman here! Here are some things you may not know about Eldon Porter Hogman:

* When Eldon is tired he gets to laughing so hard he has a hard time stopping.
* He hates the water
* He loves to dance! * He weighs 20 and a half pounds and is in the 25 percentile in everything, so he's a little guy.
* He has he only has one tooth and that one he didn't get until his birthday.
* Eldon prides himself on being the best dirty look giver at the age of one.
We love him a lot!

West Valley Whirlwind Trip

My brother Jason and his family came down for the last ten days. Since we weren't able to get away until this weekend, we were able to jam pack the weekend with a bunch of fun stuff. We didn't get away from Evanston until Saturday afternoon because of the Kid's Fishing Day that we had promised to take Kyler to. Here are pictures of that adventure:

Kyler and his free fishing pool they gave as a prize to all the kids that came. He certainly looks like a pro, huh?All three boys trying to get in on the action . . . no we were not successful in getting a fish.

We went to the zoo and got poured on! So we didn't get to stay long and only got to see a few animals and half the bird show before we were dumped on!

Kyler was very apprehensive about touching the cockroach . . . I don't know why you would think he would be used to them after our time in St. George!

Eldon loved the exhibits that he could actually get up close to. And I just love how his cheeks look so big in this picture that it is wieghing his lips down.

We weren't able to spend much time together but we did have a great time. Here are the kids playing; Travis, Steve, (what is with grown men and wrestling?) Josh and Emily (who are just trying to hold on to dear life).Here are all the Porter Grandkids; Josh, Emily (the poor lone girl!), Kyler, and the open-mouth-wonder-Eldon, seriously look how open his mouth is! And it is like that in every picture we tried to take of them in their new P.J.s (Grandma always gets the kids a new pair of pajamas when they come to her house)!

A Change of Heart

I hesitated writing this but since so many of you have expressed concern and have shown such an outpouring of love, I would like to share with you some of my feelings of the current situation we find ourselves in. There is no pictures in this post and so if you don't want to read it I will not be offended. I just want to share, get it off my chest so to speak. This experience thus far has taken me on a journey that I never expected. I have had to deal with emotions I never even thought that I would have to deal with. I have come to better understand myself, my faults, my weaknesses, and my shortcomings in a way that I probably never wanted to view them. Please let me take you on the journey of the last few weeks without going into too much detail, I would hate to have you know all those faults.
When I first found out about the store closing I was fine. I saw this as an opportunity for our family to be strengthened and for us to come out conquerors. I had no fear. For some reason I knew that all would be well and we would be fine. Then last week Satan came into play. He knew me and how to break me down. I found myself slipping from faith to fear in a matter of moments. I came to realize the seriousness of the situation and all temporal blessings all of a sudden, seemed so necessary, so important. I found myself thinking how unfair it was that those people I see drinking and smoking and living lives contrary to the right being blessed with those things we would probably never hope to see in our lives! Cars, money, fancy clothes, expensive outings, nice homes, and so forth.
Then I faced another emotion that I had never dealt with so strongly in my life . . . anger. I found myself so angry because of what men did in the name of "business". Integrity and honesty pushed aside to help themselves reach a higher plateau. It was disheartening and sickening and I struggled with an anger so strong that I could feel my heart harden.
As I've discussed my feelings with my husband and some of my best friends I have had a change of heart. I've realized some very important lessons. For instance the blessings that are temporal are nothing compared with the blessings that I have. My husband, my children, my health, their health, our testimonies, our Savior, our lives, our all. Those other things would be nice, but they are not necessary. As far as the anger I have felt it is starting to decrease. Instead I feel a sorrow for what others feel like is necessary to bring them more wealth at the expense of others and their reputations.
I read a quote from President Hinckley that has greatly helped me "Cynics do not contribute, skeptics do not create, doubters do not achieve." This has become my motto of late. It gives me something to grasp onto as I pray for the strength to let go of the fear and return to the faith, let go of the anger and find in my heart the ability to love those that have and continue to hurt my family.
This experience has taught me a lot. While I have been hurt by the selfishness of some I have come to realize the unselfishness of others. I cannot count the prayers that have been said for our family, the kindness that has been shown, the resumes that have been passed out, the dinners we have been invited to, the suggestions that have been made. All done in the name of love and friendship. We have realized how many people here we love and who love us. We have felt their arms of companionship around us physically and spiritually repeatedly in the last few weeks.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I don't know if any one will read it but still it feels good to let it go in written form. In a way it is even more healing. We appreciate all the words of kindness and prayers that are being given in our behalf. Your friendship has meant a lot to us be it through family, BYU-Idaho, St. George, High School, Utah or Washington. Thank you!

Twins!!

No we are not having twins . . . but here is why I should never, ever be allowed to have twins:

First of all let me clear the record that I didn't buy these outfits. Kyler got his from Grandma Porter and Eldon got his from Aunt Kathy. It just so happened that they fit them at the same time. But I did have them wear them the same night. And here is what happened as I tried to get the shot I did above. . .

Eldon trying to kiss Kyler

Eldon watching Kyler in awe
Picture? Why not just wrestle?

Boys!! Needless to say I was exhausted after trying to get the picture!

Kyler is growing up! I can't believe what a little man he is. He loves to help with the dishes and he loves to color and learn! So here is a shout out to our oldest boy! He is great! He prayed today that the baby would come tonight and that we would name it Baby Sister . . . then he looked at me and said "Baby Sister, that's a good name!"

Bear River Fest . . . and a Little Note from our Sponsors

This weekend was the Evanston Bear River Fest. So after Travis got home from work we got ready to go. The sun was shining and we were ready for a good time.

Kyler ready to go!

Eldon ready to go!

When we got there we got in line for the kayaks. Of course right after we got our life jackets on it started to thunder and lightning so all the boats had to come in. So we didn't get our ride but we did look great in our life jackets!!

As we walked around looking at the booths Eldon enjoyed the scenery from the stroller.

The boys looking at the water under the under pass.

Eldon enjoyed looking at it from . . . the stroller.

Travis . . . looking odd after looking at the water. We had looked so forward to going but after we ventured out the weather didn't keep. And it was soon raining. So we didn't stay long but it was still nice to get out and be together.

Now I'd like to take a moment to just share some of my thoughts . . .you really don't have to read it but there are some things that I would like to get off my chest. First of all this is me:

23 weeks so only 17 weeks left. Wow 17 weeks! That doesn't seem like a long time but then again it seems like forever! I've really "popped" in the last few weeks. Makes me nervous about how much bigger I'm going to get!!

Now I've had a good dose of humility these last few weeks. After finding out that we were having a boy I was a little disappointed at first. I've come to be really excited for our new little man and feel a little guilty for my first feelings of sadness. To make me even feel worse I found out just recently that one of my friends from BYU-Idaho is pregnant and due in October. She just found out that she is having a girl but it looks like there is fluid around her brain and is going to be special needs baby. Here I was feeling sad about a boy when he is healthy and everything was going as it should? Wow, I got the message and my heart was softened.

Then I was talking to my sister-in-law on Tuesday. We were talking about her hubby that has been diagnosed with cancer and the struggles that they are facing. Once again, I felt humbled because we all have our health.

Later on Tuesday we found out that Travis lost his job. The store is closing this Evanston location . . .wow, got the message I needed to be sufficently humbled! I've come to realize in these last few weeks how valuable family is and the power of eternal marriage. I am so grateful for my boys, all four of them! And that we have our health! We have each other! And no matter what these next few weeks of uncertainity bring we will always be together. We don't know yet what we are going to do as far as work goes, thankfully he has until June 30th before the store's doors are locked. We are very excited for this chance to live even more simply and to see how much stronger our family will become.