Thursday, July 17, 2008
Failing Parenting 101
Alright so . . . I have a two year old that has all of a sudden become a fit-throwin'-hittin'-yellin'-"no!" little . . . ahem . . . angel. Time outs are no longer working, sending him for some alone time in his room is no longer working . . . any ideas!!! I know that things are new for him right now and he's testing his limits but I've got to be firm, but nothing seems to be working. So if there is any jewels of wisdom, any tidbit of information that has worked for you or worked on you when you were a kid, I would really appreciate it because I really feel like I am failing here!!
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11 comments:
My biggest and best piece of advice is to remember YOU'RE NOT FAILING! This is a tough time for everyone, even though it's great too. There's a lot of adapting to do. Just be patient, and make sure to try to give him some one-on-one time too. Maybe he just misses Mommy's attention and is trying a new way to get it.
And, I have to just add, we've all been there. Two is a tough adjustment. I had a really rough time for a while juggling it, but you figure it out after a while.
I don't have any wonderful advice about helping that but I do know that you need to not feel like you are failing. Easier said then done, I know, but you are doing all you can, and thats all that matters. Give yourself another month or so when you aren't as much sleep deprived and things are really seeming back to normal and it won't seem that bad. Remember to take a moment to close your eyes take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are a wonderful mommy.
Have you tried some of the tricks from Supper Nanny? I don't know that much about kids yet, but I do like most of the methods she uses. Good luck! Here is her website:http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/index?pn=index
Boy - did we get on the same cruise! Be firm with the time outs. It literally saved us -
And PLEASE don't feel like you're failing. you are doing a wonderful job - like everyone else has said - it takes some adjustment. I agree with the one-on-one time with the 2 year old - it makes a world of difference after a day or so...and if you can get them both to nap at THE SAME TIME you're one lucky duck and one good planner!!! Keep up the hard work...some day you'll look back and realize you were the best parent on earth!!!
I had to break down and get Tanner a new toy or two (usually a birthday/Christmas occasion) to distract him. Remember to re-direct Kyler to something positive - which is easier said than done when you're nursing, half-dressed and exhausted...We're all rooting for you!!!
I don't have two kids, so I can't say from experience... but I do know this! Jenni Hogman, you are a wonderful person and if there is anyone that can deal with this it's you! That lil' one is just trying to find a new normal, and I know that you'll do the best thing for him, no matter what it is! I love you! Keep trying. Remember, Elder Ballard said "The joys of motherhood come in moments"... this just isn't one of those moments! Love you!
"A new normal," as Shayla said. That is for sure. We have been through five new normals, and guess what? I don't have any advice for you that you don't already know. Keep your head up, give him lots of love, and things will settle down soon.
Oh jen, this happens to the "older kid". No matter what baby you bring home. weather it is #2, #3 whatever. They feel like they need your attention more cause you are so focused on the baby.. Plus he is 2. I think 2 1/2 /3 is the hardest age! Be firm and you are not failing!!! trust me. Give him lots of love and some one on one time and he will come around slowly. You will notice that kids will go through stages of this at all ages. Kids are good at trying your patients. Trust me.. I have three!! haha. good luck!
Ah, the wonderful age of 2! It really is an adjustment, especially with a new baby in the house too. The only things that worked with my kids were to give them more control over little things and then to praise them like crazy whenever they were acting/doing something good. Hang in there, you're doing great!
I am so empathetic to you on this one. A lady at work yesterday pointed out that we use such a nice voice when we talk to the baby and baby doesn't need it as much as the toddler. so, she suggested that I use that same voice for Austin and realize the baby can also hear how i talk to Austin. or someone said get a puppy. Not my favorite option!
You are so not failing, but I totally know how you feel somedays. I'm sure this is just an adjustment phase to the new baby and h'll be over it soon. I'm echoing what everyone else has says, but 1-on-1 time and being consistant with punishments. Oh man, I'm getting scared to know how Rylee will react! Be sure and let me know what works and how things are going! Thanks for your positive water breaking-going into labor vibes, keep them coming!
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